


Win Some, Lose Some

by Alaena_F_Dragonstar



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-13 16:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3389264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alaena_F_Dragonstar/pseuds/Alaena_F_Dragonstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their enemies are behind bars, but victory isn’t as sweet as they’d hoped. Shinichi never got his cure and Kaito just can’t let go. It’s only in each other’s eyes that they can see themselves anymore. KaitoxShinichi / KaitoxConan</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
> 
> Rating: T
> 
> Pairing: KaiShin [KaitoxShinichi] or KaiCon if you want to get technical

## 

Win Some, Lose Some

#### 

By Alaena F.D.

* * *

#### 

_Part 1_

The wind howled around the roof of the hotel as it almost always did. It was one of the things Conan—or rather Shinichi, up here it was okay to be Shinichi—liked about the place. It made the rest of the world feel far away. He had first chosen the place because he remembered it had a great view from the last time he'd been there. It was also one of the few tall buildings he couldn't immediately associate with a death.

He liked the view you could get of the city from up here. It glittered beneath the night sky, the noise of city life muted by distance. But the part he liked best was that from up here it all looked far away—farther than it really was at any rate. Like another world.

He looked around from his seat on the edge at the sound of movement behind him just in time to see a figure clad in white touching down on the roof in a swirl of white cape. At twenty three, KID hadn't changed much as far as Shinichi could tell. He was taller and his features sharper, but he was still as full of secrets and tricks as he ever was—more so, really, though some might not have believed that possible.

The magician swept his hat off and flipped it into the air. A moment later the monocle followed with a sharp jerk of the hand that was rather a lot more emphatic than it had to be. Then both hat and monocle disappeared in a flash of light.

"Well someone's in a bad mood," the bespectacled boy commented with raised eyebrows.

The thief snorted and stalked up to the rails where the detective was seated. "My best friend is marrying the world's most annoying detective tomorrow. I think I have the right to be in a bad mood."

"Oh." Blue eyes looked away. He knew the girl in question—had seen her a few times at KID heists cheering on the head of the KID task force who also happened to be her father in his tireless if futile attempts to put the elusive magician behind bars. Shinichi had been more than a little shocked when he'd first found out the daughter of Nakamori-keibu was also the thief's childhood friend, but KID was so full of contradictions already that the surprise quickly gave way to bemused amusement. The thief really did lead one peculiar life.

He'd wondered if perhaps the thief had had feelings for the girl, or if it was just because it was a detective (or maybe just Hakuba?) she was marrying. He didn't know, and he didn't think he had the right to ask, but from what he had seen and heard it seemed KID had taken their engagement last year as a personal insult. That was one of the small handful of other times he could remember having seen the master of lies so openly irritated.

He didn't say anything though. He knew by now that there wasn't anything _to_ say. It was much more important to listen.

There were times even for people like them—or maybe especially for people like them—when all they really needed was a pair of understanding ears they could trust and a moment when they could take off the masks.

Because of this, KID now knew more about Shinichi's thoughts than most would probably think was wise. And he knew a lot more about KID now than he'd ever actually wanted to—or rather Kaito, he corrected himself. That was one of the unspoken rules of these little rendezvous. No false names.

It was odd, he reflected. When had these meetings started?

X

The day he'd found out there wasn't going to be a cure after all, he hadn't felt anything at all. The numbness lasted all the way up until he'd taken the temporary antidote one last time to say his goodbyes (the story was that he was moving to America). It would be the last time, he knew, because if there wasn't going to be a permanent cure then he couldn't keep taunting himself with the temporary one. He had to learn to accept life the way it had become—the way it would be.

He'd gone home— _his_ home, not the Mouris'—and lain on the bed he hadn't slept in in ages, staring at the ceiling. Part of him wanted to scream—throw something—do anything, if only it could make a difference. But it wouldn't, and it would be pointless, so he didn't do anything at all.

It felt a little bit like dying.

His parents treated him the way they always had. To them, nothing had changed, but the problem was that it _had_. It wasn't a game or just a little change in circumstance like they sometimes made him feel like they thought it was. He was going to have to live behind a false name he'd pulled off the spines of a handful of books for _the rest of his life_. The lies were now more real than the truth! Just how laughable was that?

Hattori too didn't seem to get it either. Then again, he'd only ever known Shinichi while he was Conan, and, while he knew who the other detective was behind that, he didn't seem able to grasp just how much that meant. Haibara was the only one who seemed to understand, but he couldn't bring himself to talk to her about it, especially when he knew she blamed herself for it. He didn't, because it really wasn't anyone's fault that there was no permanent cure, but she was the only one who could tell herself that.

So he wandered through the following days—weeks, months—trying to mold himself into what would be life from now on.

There were times when he wondered if he could just tell people what had happened, but he balked at the thought. He'd spent too long lying to too many people about it. If anything it would probably make things worse. And maybe part of him was just a little ashamed that it had come to this.

Besides, there were good things about this new start to life too. The first time he'd grown up he'd spent most of his time alone. He'd read a lot and played at the detective with imaginary villains and dreamed of the day he would do it all for real. He'd spent some time with Ran, but she'd never understood what she called his "obsession" and didn't enjoy being told about it day in day out. The second time around he'd already reached that goal, and playing the waiting game with the organization had left him with a lot of time which the Shounan Tantei happily usurped. Being unable to give his own deductions had also forced him to interact more with the officers and other detectives he met on cases as he prodded them in the right direction and given him a new appreciation for the ones who tried. Even Kogoro wasn't really that bad, he'd decided. The old detective might be a dork most of the time as well as a prime example of embarrassing people to be seen with, but he had his heart in the right place and he _tried_ , even if he missed the mark more often than not. He'd also been improving slowly—something for which Shinichi was immensely grateful because he wasn't going to shadow the man forever but he also didn't want to unleash the man on the unsuspecting populace if he was going to go right back to square one.

So he'd made friends and learned a little more about the world and people and himself than he'd known. He had a place here he would have missed if he'd left. It was the second chance some people spent their whole lives wishing for! So really, he shouldn't be complaining.

Right? Right.

X

To be honest, Shinichi was kind of surprised that the Shounan Tantei persisted into middle school and eventually into high school. He'd half expected the kids' interest to fade as so many childhood interests did, especially after they got to know the real world of crime better than they had before. But while they were slowly beginning to understand that it wasn't a game, their determination had only grown. They had even begun to slip into their own roles when approaching new cases. Mitsuhiko, who'd always been more fascinated by the technical tools available to them than the rest, had taken to carrying a camera and voice recorder everywhere they went. Ayumi, who'd always had a lucky streak when it came to seeing things, was now the best of the three at spotting relevant clues. Genta still had a tendency to think more with his stomach than anything else, but he did have a knack for seeing the simple things that the rest of them sometimes forgot about when they got carried away with the complications. He also had a near unstoppable tackle. They even had their own forensics department in the form of Haibara, who could naturally do a lot in the way of chemicals. Shinichi still did the strategizing and the coordinating but while he was usually the one who put all the pieces together in the end the pieces often came in larger and more cohesive chunks than they used to. It was kind of gratifying in its own way.

It was one of the things he would have missed if he'd gone back to his old life. Silently, he thanked them for that.

"Hey, did you guys see the paper this morning?" Mitsuhiko asked as he slid into his desk, dropping his backpack by his feet.

Ayumi's eyes lit up with excitement. "I did! It said Kaitou KID's next heist will be in Beika."

"Exactly! And we're going to be there," the gangly boy declared. "It'll be the perfect chance for the Shounan Tantei to prove how good we are."

Genta blinked and frowned. "I thought we already proved that last year. You know, when we got that group of con artists."

Mitsuhiko rolled his eyes. "Well, yeah, but this'll be like a hundred times bigger than _that_. It's Kaitou KID! The police have been trying to catch him for years. Right Conan?"

All three heads turned to look expectantly at their bespectacled companion who blinked back at them. "Uh, I guess…" he said a bit vaguely when he realized they were expecting an answer. Apparently satisfied, the three went back to excitedly debating how they were going to succeed where so many others had failed. No longer in their sights, Shinichi shook his head at their antics. He wondered with some amusement why it seemed that every aspiring detective walked this path at least once. KID would most likely be rather pleased if he knew (which he probably did). Disillusioning people who dared think themselves his match was one of the thief's favorite pastimes.

Come to think of it, he hadn't seen the thief in a while. It had been…what? Almost six months, if memory served. That was the night KID had stolen the one jewel he never returned. Shinichi remembered the triumph that had flashed across the thief's face as the stone in his hands glowed blood red. The sight had sent shivers of dread down the detective's spine though he wasn't sure why. All he'd known was that something in him recoiled from the sight of that light as a mouse would from a snake.

"What is that?" he'd asked, the question coming out in a whisper.

KID had given the stone another long look before making it disappear in a puff of smoke. "That, Tantei-kun, was the end of a very old story." Then he'd winked at Shinichi and stepped backward off the building.

Watching him go, Shinichi remembered thinking that it seemed KID had finally found what he'd been after. And he'd wondered if that meant they had come to the end. The thought had left him feeling oddly lonely—like saying goodbye to a close friend. Then he'd laughed at himself for thinking it. What would the thief say to _that_?

Of course two weeks later said thief was back on the front page. It was nice to know some things wouldn't be changing anytime soon. Was it wrong for a detective to be grateful that a thief was still stealing?

"Conan!"

He jumped and looked up to find himself the center of attention for three pairs of impatient eyes. "What?"

"We were just asking you what you thought about the plan," Ayumi said, crossing her arms. "You weren't listening, were you?"

X

Technically, Kaitou KID should have retired. He'd already accomplished the things he'd set out to do. Snake was in prison. He'd found a stone fitting Pandora's description a year after that and reduced it to so many stone fragments even though he hadn't waited around to check if it really cried magical tears or not. The cost of possibly finding out it did wasn't one he felt like risking.

And yet three days after that fateful night, Kuroba Kaito had found himself tugging his white top hat on again as he set off to scout out a new art exhibit.

Three months later, he was still doing it. If anything he was spending more time planning his heists rather than less. Now they could be as large and elaborate as he had ever dreamed of making them since he didn't have to worry about snipers and such unsavory guests. They could be more in the open too so that his fans could get a better view.

And he was doing this even though he had finally started his professional career as a magician on the daylight stage.

By then he realized that he wasn't ready to hang up his cape just yet. It was more than just a costume and a name; it had become a part of who he was. And he _liked_ being KID. Loved the freedom and the magic. He savored his audience's awed admiration and laughed at the frustration of those oh so determined police officers and detectives in their futile and pathetic attempts to corner him. The night was his stage and in it every mind and creature became a player of his game. Under the moonlight, he could do anything he wanted and no one could stop him. The only rules that existed were the ones that he made for himself.

But it wasn't all about the fun either.

KID was his father's legacy. When he flew under the moonlight he knew that his father had also once looked upon the glittering world of the city at night like he was doing now. It was…as though by sharing these memories and weaving the legends he was keeping a part of his father alive.

He loved the secret too—the fact that he knew something others did not. But sometimes…well, sometimes he found himself wishing that there was someone he could share it with. Still, he liked things the way they were.

And yet…and yet when he saw Aoko tearing the newest issue of the papers to shreds and cursing KID's very existence with righteous fires in her eyes, he wondered if he was being just a little bit selfish.

Except it couldn't be selfish to want to be who you were. That was, after all, half the point of living. He wouldn't be sorry for it—being sorry about such things was ridiculous and not in his nature anyway—but he did lament that now he knew he would never be able to tell Aoko the truth about Kaitou KID. There had been a time when he had thought that one day he would share the secret and everything else with her, once the danger was over and the time came to put it all behind him and move on. It was what might have been.

What the future would be now, he didn't know any more than anyone else ever did, but now he knew he would always be both Kuroba Kaito and Kaitou KID and it was enough for now that he was the only one who knew this.

"You know, this is all your fault," he told his father's portrait. And silently he thanked the man, because, for all the complications, he would not wish for any of it to have been different.

X

Aoko had started working with the police. Mixed in with the crowd of reporters who had wriggled their way inside the heist building, Kaito caught sight of her discussing strategy with Hakuba while her father barked orders at his men. He watched them for a moment through the lens of his camera before slipping away to set up some final preparations.

Half an hour later, the night air filled with the yells and occasional, high pitched shrieks of police and detectives as they set off the traps he'd left for them. He'd decided to build a maze tonight, complete with cameras at strategic points from which he planned to collect some—humorous photos. For personal use only, of course (they would make _great_ Christmas gifts). The smirk that crossed his face as he raced silently up a final flight of stairs might very well have been described as evil.

He hadn't expected to find someone waiting for him, but he spotted the small figure seated with his back to the roof railing the moment he opened the door. The smile that broke out across his face at the sight was entirely genuine.

"My, my, and here I thought you weren't interested in my heists anymore."

The boy made no move to stand as his brows furrowed. "I never said that."

Kaito grinned. "That's good. My heists wouldn't be half as fun if the great Kudo Shinichi didn't show up once in a while. The others are just too slow, you know."

He was startled when the boy's eyes flashed with anger. "Don't call me that."

The thief's eyebrows rose. "Why not?" He knew he didn't use the boy's name very often, but Tantei-kun had never complained before.

Blue eyes darkened at his question as the detective pulled his knees to his chest and Kaito realized that the anger wasn't directed at him. "That's not who I am anymore."

The night seemed to have grown quiet, the sounds of the police and the fans fading beneath the cry of the wind. He studied the eleven-year-old's face for a long moment before shaking his head slowly. "You're wrong."

"And what would you know about it?" The question wasn't accusing or angry or even particularly inquisitive. Instead it sounded tired to Kaito—tired and maybe a little amused in the way that a person might laugh because they desperately want to find something funny.

It was a good question though, Kaito reflected as he moved to sit down beside the detective. "I suppose I know because if I am me whether or not I am wearing this monocle, then you are Kudo Shinichi whether or not you are also being Edogawa Conan."

And really that was where it had all begun. Later Kaito wondered why exactly Shinichi had made no move to try and stop him. Had he simply come to see KID? It would be nice to think so.

So here they were, standing on a windswept roof with the only person they knew who truly understood them.

It was only in each other's eyes that they could see themselves anymore.

X

"Do you know what we need?"

Shinichi looked up at the thief at the sudden question. "What?"

"A vacation," the magician declared decisively. "Some time away from all this." He waved a hand at the city spread out below them. "Where would you like to go?"

"You're not serious about this are you?"

"Perfectly. Knowing you, I'll bet you haven't had a decent, uninterrupted break in ages. It would be good for you."

"What, so I'm your new charity project?" Shinichi asked wryly.

The thief laughed, moving to stand right behind the spot on the railing where the younger boy was seated and wrapping his arms around him. "What? Am I not allowed to want to spend more time with you?"

The detective stiffened, but this high up he didn't dare protest too vigorously at the contact. "What are you doing?"

"Making sure you don't fall off," KID replied airily. "And you looked like you were cold. You didn't answer my question by the way."

He frowned in confusion. "What?"

"Am I not allowed to want to spend time with you?"

Shinichi shrugged, eyes turning back to the streets below. "What you want or don't want to do doesn't really have anything to do with me."

"You know, I could take that as permission to whisk you off somewhere for a holiday," Kaito said, amused.

"Just because you can think it doesn't mean you can do it."

"Ooh, is that a challenge?"

"You know what I mean," Shinichi huffed, exasperated.

The magician chuckled. "I know. I'm serious about the trip though. How about it?"

"Ran-neechan would never let a total stranger take me on a trip."

"I suppose that's true," Kaito agreed, heaving a melodramatic sigh. "And I guess it wouldn't be very restful if we had to spend the whole time dodging police."

"I should think not."

"On the other hand, if Conan-kun's brother wanted to take him out for some fun…"

"She knows I'm an only child."

"Ah well, I don't think I want to be thought of as your brother anyway."

"Why not?" Shinichi asked curiously, wondering if he was supposed to be offended.

"It just wouldn't be as fun," Kaito replied with his customary grin. There was a split second of hesitation before he'd spoken however that Shinichi would never have noticed if he hadn't come to know the thief so well. It made him wonder what Kaito had been about to say before he'd changed his mind.

"I'll have to take your word for that."

"No matter. I'll find a way," Kaito promised, indigo eyes twinkling with mirth. "You just think about where you'd like us to go. Or where you don't want to go, that would work too. Process of elimination and all that."

"Why are you talking like I already agreed to this?"

"Because I have decided."

"What? That doesn't make any sense."

"Does to me."

Shinichi rolled his eyes but didn't argue since he knew it wouldn't do any good. The thief was probably joking anyway. "I should get going."

Kaito nodded. "I'll walk you home."

"How many times do I have to tell you that that's not necessary?"

"Once more than is possible, my dear. I know what happens when you wander off unsupervised. Then you'll spend the rest of the night at the police station and not get the sleep that someone your age needs. Then you'd be too tired to see me, and we wouldn't want that."

X

As Kaito saw it, if someone as boring and annoying as _Hakuba_ could win the affections of the person he liked, then Kaito most certainly shouldn't have any problems. In his (not very) humble opinion, he was a hundred times more interesting, smarter, better looking, more charming, the list went on (and on and on). Of course, he also liked to steal things, play pranks, and drive people mad, but those weren't really bad things (after all, he gave it all back—er, all except the dangerous one, but it _was_ dangerous—and really he was making their lives more interesting. If anything they should be thanking him). The trouble was that the person Kaito wanted happened to be stuck with living out life as someone ten years younger than he was. It was something Shinichi was still learning how to live with, and so something they couldn't—shouldn't—ignore. And that was just the obvious issue. The tip of the ice berg, so to speak.

He prided himself on his ability to read people, but he wasn't entirely sure what Shinichi felt for him. He knew the other enjoyed the time they spent together. There was a mutual trust there too. They carried each other's secrets and shared their thoughts, confident in the knowledge that they were and would always be accepted for who they had become. He had also poked carefully around the subject of Mouri Ran and determined that while Shinichi did indeed love her it was the kind of love you found between siblings. These facts, however, didn't tell him anything about how Shinichi might react if, say, Kaito decided to kiss him. Thoughts on romance weren't really something that came up much in their conversations (unless you counted the times when Shinichi's recent cases had involved people who had committed murder out of jealousy or misguided notions of love—not a great conversation opener for the topic of relationships. Sometimes he suspected that Shinichi only ever thought about romance these days as possible motives those suspects over there might have had for murder).

Of course things could never be simple where either of them was concerned.

To be honest, Kaito couldn't remember exactly when he'd realized that he might feel something more than simple friendship for his little detective. There had always been a mutual respect (and maybe even some admiration) between them. They had been rivals, the kind who could bring out the best in each other, then allies who, while not exactly close, trusted each other to do what was right and needed when the time came. Then there had been the camaraderie of those who had fought alongside of one another. Those who had seen the same darkness and come out the other side. Not unscathed, perhaps, but victorious nonetheless. It was only natural that they eventually become friends.

When he had first seen that look in Shinichi's eyes—that one that spoke of a desperate despair locked behind a fragile shell of resigned acceptance, he'd felt a sudden surge of protectiveness. His Tantei-kun was not supposed to look like that—small and sad like a lost soul that wouldn't admit it. It wasn't right. But his Tantei-kun was still in there, he could see it, and he wasn't going to lose him.

At the beginning it wasn't really about friendship, and most certainly not anything more. It was about helping someone he'd come to admire. It was about smiles and laughter and life—all the things that magic, real magic, was for. And maybe it had been about himself a little too, because while the rest of the world changed there were some parts of it he wasn't willing to let slip away.

The friendship had crept in quietly like the changing of seasons. Neither of them talked about it. But when Kaito paused in the middle of a discussion about sports and the skills they bred (like kicking really, really hard) and told Shinichi his real name, Shinichi had blinked, then smiled a slightly surprised but pleased sort of smile, and the discussion resumed as though it had never been interrupted.

That had been, oh, a year and a half ago now? That sounded about right.

It was some time after that that he'd been telling Shinichi some stories from his high school years and Akako's name had come up.

"A witch?" Shinichi repeated dryly. "Really."

"It's true!" Kaito insisted, waving his arms for emphasis. "She can do voodoo and everything! Just the other day I caught her trying to slip me a love potion." He gave an exaggerated shudder.

Shinichi gave him another flat look. "And why would she do that?"

"She's been after me since we were in high school," he explained, voice perfectly serious. "She's determined to turn me into one of her zombie followers."

Shinichi stared at him for a moment, then started laughing. The magician pulled on a wounded look but it faded into a quiet chuckle of his own.

It was as he sat there, listening to Shinichi laugh, that he realized that—for the first time in years—he wasn't thinking about the masks. He was smiling now not because it was suitable to the situation or because it would help achieve the effect he wanted, but only because he wanted to.

And he thought that maybe it wasn't only Shinichi who'd needed help.

It was a taste of the future as he wished it would be. And while he had no doubt that he would pursue it, the question remained as to the best approach.

X

A week after the conversation about possible holidays, Sonoko called Ran, ecstatic that she had won three tickets to a magic show—and not just any magic show. No, this was one of Kuroba Kaito's magic shows. Yes, the same magician that everyone was talking about these days, and oh Ran just _had_ to go with her. Oh and the brat could go too, she'd added generously, seeing as none of the other people she'd asked had been available on that particular day.

Shinichi had listened to the whole conversation and wondered what Kaito thought he was doing.

It would be the first time he got to see one of Kaito's shows though. He had to admit he was curious. He'd seen the magician's name in the papers quite often, generally alongside of a lot of enthusiastic praise, but even if he hadn't he had seen too many of KID's performances to have any doubts about his skill.

When they got there the show was every bit as mindboggling as he'd expected. What he hadn't expected was for the three of them to happen to be in the chairs that were predestined to seat Kaito's audience help for the night. Somehow he doubted it was a coincidence.

"What are you up to?" he hissed at the magician as Kaito squatted to offer him a selection of poker cards.

"Whatever do you mean?" the magician whispered back, managing to speak without actually moving his lips. "You could try to look more excited by the way."

Shinichi glared them plastered on a bright smile. "But Kuroba-san, that's two decks of cards. Look, they have different patterns on the back!"

Kaito didn't so much as bat an eye. "Really? Well, we can't have that. Miss Mouri, could you please check this deck for me?"

Of course when the cards were examined, they were all the same. He wouldn't put it past Kaito to have let him see the different ones on purpose. Shinichi sulked for a few minutes before deciding it was childish.

Sonoko wanted an autograph after the show. And then Kaito was inviting them all to dinner since his best friend had left for her honeymoon and he liked having company at mealtimes.

Two months after that, Ran told Shinichi that Kaito had invited them all on a trip to a mountain resort. She couldn't go since she was assisting her mother on an important case that week, but since school would be out then that meant Conan could go. Kogoro was supposed to be going too, but two days before the trip he got a call asking if he would film a commercial.

"There should be a law against bending reality the way you do," Shinichi announced from his seat by the train window. "It's not natural the way things just work out for you."

Kaito just laughed, because while it didn't hurt to be lucky, the secret was that luck was something you could make if you knew how.

X

Shinichi half expected to run into a crime being committed at the resort upon their arrival, but they didn't. Instead they checked in and were directed to a room on the fourth floor with a great view of the lake and the rocky, green and brown slopes of the rising mountain ridges beyond. The lake was dotted with small boats and Shinichi was sure he saw the foaming, white streaks of someone waterskiing.

"Ooh, that looks fun," Kaito observed, coming up behind him. "Looks like there might be some pretty good cliffs around here too."

"Good _cliffs_?" Shinichi repeated, glancing warily up at the magician's grinning face.

"Yep. I brought a bigger glider too—made for two and everything. Built it myself. It'll be fun." On an impulse he reached over and ruffled the younger boy's hair, causing him to squawk and swat the hand away. Laughing, he draped an arm over Shinichi's shoulders and steered him towards the door. "Come on. I made lunch reservations. Then we can go down to the lake. Tomorrow morning we can take the glider out and I'll show you how to fly."

"You have this all planned out, don't you?" Shinichi asked, amused.

"Naturally. Got to make the most of the time we've got, right?"

"I suppose so."

X

That first vacation with Kaito wasn't an experience Shinichi was going to forget in a hurry. It wasn't just that it was the first time they had done something like this, but it was also the most openly happy he'd seen Kaito in a while. It was a subtle difference in his customary grin which didn't seem to be hiding as much as it usually did. Or it could be his imagination, but he didn't think it was. It lifted a weight off his chest. It was worth the embarrassment of getting cooed over by the waitresses who seemed to think he was even younger than he currently looked just for that. He'd been afraid that Kaito might be more upset over Aoko's wedding than he'd let on.

Of course, there were some moments he could have done without, like that boat ride…

"If you laugh, I _will_ kick you."

"I'm not laughing," Kaito replied solemnly as his eyes twinkled with mirth. "You know, there's a smaller paddleboat right over there."

Shinichi shifted his irritated glare from the thief (who he just _knew_ was laughing on the inside) to the pedals of their boat. The pedals which he was just that crucial bit too short to use effectively. Of course the peddling boats came in two sizes at this lake—one for adults and one for children, but he was _thirteen_ now. There was no way he was getting into a little kid's boat.

Eventually Kaito took pity on him and pointed to the other side of the pier. "How about we take a canoe instead?"

"Why do we have to use either?"

"Because we're here and we're relaxing. Better hurry by the way, there's only one canoe left."

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

The canoe was just the right size for two people and they spent a peaceful hour just drifting slowly over the lake's dark waters. That was when they'd glided past a man who'd just hooked a fish. It was a large, silver creature and it came flying out of the water at the end of the fisherman's line so close that Shinichi could feel the spray of water it brought with it on his skin. It was surprising, but what really shocked Shinichi was the way Kaito let out a strangled sound and threw himself away from the creature. Straight at Shinichi. Taken by surprise, the detective didn't have the chance to move. The boat wasn't large and there wasn't anywhere on it that wasn't near the edge. A moment later there was a loud splash as they both crashed into the water.

Kaito, however, shot right back out of the water like a jack-in-the-box and proceeded to retreat back to shore so fast Shinichi could have sworn he'd actually run over the water. Swimming back to the edge of their boat, the detective hauled himself back aboard. Sopping wet and shivering, he proceeded to row the boat back to shore. Thankfully shore wasn't all that far away. He was not pleased when Kaito met him at the landing with a cheerful grin and clothes that were miraculously dry like nothing had happened.

"Are you going to explain or do I have to guess?" he asked sourly as Kaito hopped down to help him moor the canoe.

The magician laughed, scratching the back of his head. "Well~…"

Shinichi waited a few minutes then shook his head. "Never mind. But really, why did you suggest boating when you can't stand fish?"

"It's not like any of _them_ use boats."

"…Right."

X

It was the night before they were supposed to head back when Shinichi woke to the sound of rustling cloth. Prying open bleary eyes, he looked at the clock to see that it was almost two in the morning. Sitting up, he turned towards the source of the sound that had awakened him to see that Kaito had thrown open the curtains. The moon was full that night and its pale, silvery light now flooded the room. Here in the mountains, it seemed brighter than ever. The magician himself was seated on the sill, looking out at the sky with an expression Shinichi couldn't remember ever seeing on his face before.

Slipping out of bed, he padded across the room towards the window. His concern grew when Kaito didn't seem to notice his approach.

"Are you okay?"

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, Kaito glanced back into the room to find himself being watched by a pair of worried, blue eyes. The open, honest concern he saw there made him smile.

"I'm fine," he said easily, gesturing for Shinichi to join him. The detective sat down on the other end of the wide sill. "I was just wishing we had more time."

"Oh." He supposed he could understand that. He'd been having a bit of the same feeling himself. Sighing, he let himself relax against the window frame. "We could come again," he offered hesitantly, eyes fixed on the black waters of the lake outside.

"Did you have fun then?"

"I did."

"Good."

"What about you?"

Indigo eyes blinked at him in what he thought was surprise, then said eyes gleamed and Kaito shifted his position so that he could scoot closer and grab one of Shinichi's hands. "To have been here with you was truly a gift. Thank you for coming with me."

Shinichi flushed and tugged ineffectually at his hand. "I can't believe you can say that with a straight face."

"It's a skill," the magician replied with a wink before his expression grew serious. "But I mean it. I really do enjoy the time we spend together. To be able to be like this," he gestured to their surroundings in general, "just the two of us, but in the open."

"I thought you liked sneaking around."

"I do," Kaito agreed amiably, "but this is different. I want to be able to spend more time with you. Not just when I have a heist or when you can sneak out of the house every few weeks, and not just when we need a break from the rest of our lives either. I'd like to be able to take you out to dinner sometime or do something like this again."

"…Did you just ask me out?"

"That depends. Would you run away from me if I said yes?"

"Is there a reason I should?"

Kaito appeared to give this some serious thought before he answered. "I suppose if you think you'd ever want to divest yourself of my company, your chances would be better if you ran now than if you ran later, but it would save us both a lot of trouble if you didn't." He paused. "You're laughing at me, aren't you?"

"Maybe a little," Shinichi admitted. "But more at me than you."

One of the magician's eyebrows rose. "Oh? And why's that?"

"I…" Shinichi paused, swallowed, and looked down at his hands. That was when he realized that Kaito was still holding one of them. A hint of pink climbed into his face and he looked out the window instead (though Kaito noted that he didn't try to pull his hand away again).

"What was that?" the magician prodded when Shinichi's next handful of words came out in an incoherent mumble. "You're going to have to speak a little louder than that if you want me to hear you."

The detective was definitely blushing now. "I—like you too."

Bit of a tentative statement, but they could work on that later. Kaito could feel himself beginning to grin but he clamped down on the urge to do more since he could sense that there was still something Shinichi wasn't saying. "Glad to hear it, although I still don't see what was funny."

"It's just I didn't think you would… I mean, I'm—" He waved a hand to indicate himself in general with a slightly helpless smile like someone pointing out a problem he thought should have been obvious but that he didn't want to have to bring up. The blush had faded. Instead a hint of depression had crept across the detective's face in its place.

Oh, that. Kaito's first impulse was to laugh, but he knew better. "Well, we can't have everything," he said instead. "But really, you're still you no matter what you look like right now. And that's what's important, isn't it?"

"Doesn't it…bother you?"

"I can't deny that the matter crosses my mind on occasion, but I think the person it really bothers is you," the magician said quietly, indigo eyes stern.

Shinichi closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the window frame. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." Carefully, Kaito leaned forward and pressed his lips to Shinichi's. It was warm and soft and full of unspoken words. And it was like something had finally fallen into place. "Everything has to start somewhere. And we have all the time in the world."


	2. Part 2

## 

Win Some, Lose Some

#### 

By Alaena F.D.

* * *

####  _Part 2_

Shinichi really didn't know why Kaito felt the need to give him roses all the time. It started the day they got back from their little trip and just never stopped. He presented him with at least one every time they met nowadays, but it didn't stop there like how Shinichi vaguely thought it was supposed to. Once a week Shinichi would arrive in his first period class to find a rose lying on his desk. At other times they appeared in his locker. And sometimes, on days that Kaito decided were special for whatever reason, they would be bouquets. At first he found the whole thing horribly embarrassing and he would spend whole days beet red as he felt the rest of the school staring at him. But when he asked Kaito to stop the magician would go mysteriously deaf and then change the subject.

The roses were always red.

By now the whole school knew about the things. The Shounan Tantei periodically spent weeks plotting ways to catch whoever it was in the act, but of course they never did.

"Someone's going to a lot of trouble to say he likes you," Haibara observed one morning as she watched him hurriedly trying to stash the roses that had just fallen out of his locker back in before anyone noticed. "But I guess you know that, since you aren't surprised. So I suppose it's for our benefit then."

He'd turned to stare at her in shock before smacking his own forehead. Was _that_ what it was about? A (not so subtle) way for Kaito to tell people Shinichi was taken? If it was, it certainly had the desired effect.

"So is it someone we know?"

He was saved from having to answer her by the sound of the bell.

He started looking at the roses a little differently after that. He stopped trying to hide them and instead turned his attention on trying to learn how to control the urge to blush. It wasn't working, but he was sure that he'd get the hang of it one day. He wondered if Kaito would give him tips.

"But I like it when you blush," the magician objected when he asked. Then he'd grinned and leaned down so they were at eye level. "You do a very beautiful shade of red."

Naturally, Shinichi blushed. And then he kicked him. Or at least he tried. Kaito was good at not getting kicked (after all, he'd gotten a lot of practice over the years).

"Come on, don't be like that," he laughed. "It was a compliment. It isn't good etiquette to hit people who give you compliments."

That got him a flat, blue look before Shinichi crossed his arms and turned away (because he didn't want Kaito to see him smiling). "I thought you said you were buying me coffee?"

X

Ran watched from the agency window as Kaito and Conan talked on the street outside. The magician had come by that morning to take the younger boy to a book convention she knew he'd been wanting to go to. The two had gotten back almost ten minutes ago but Conan still hadn't come inside. He was gesticulating wildly as he spoke. It probably meant he was talking about a novel he liked, she thought with amusement. He rarely got that excited about anything else. It was good to see him looking so happy. He certainly did seem to have taken a liking to the magician. It was nice of Kaito to come see them so often. Sonoko seemed to think that meant he was interested in her, but she was pretty sure he was coming to see Conan. She'd explained it to Sonoko in the desperate hope that her friend wouldn't say something embarrassing next time she was around when Kaito came for a visit.

Sonoko had snorted in disbelief. "Yeah right. Why would a guy in his mid twenties want to spend so much time with someone who's barely graduated middle school?"

Personally, Ran had to admit it was a little strange, but Conan had always acted much older than he was. He already spent most of his time with adults anyway. As for Kaito… Well, maybe he just liked kids. She'd seen him doing miniature shows for the children at the park several times and she knew he often performed at schools and a few of the local children's hospitals even though he had a lot of calls on his time by what many would consider much more grandiose places. Conan had told her once that Kaito believed magic was meant for brightening people's lives.

Turning, she headed into the kitchen to begin making dinner. A few minutes later she heard the door open and she stepped back out to welcome her surrogate brother home.

"Conan-kun," she started in surprise. "When did you get that rose?" He hadn't had it a moment ago when she'd been watching him from the window.

"O—oh, I—uh, Kaito-san was just showing me a magic trick," he'd stammered, and while the half lie might have passed muster his dark crimson blush had not. He could see Ran's eyes flicker to the vase on the living room table that was always full of red roses these days and put two and two together. It wasn't a very hard puzzle as puzzles came.

To his mortification, she had gently sat him down and started asking _questions_. They were very careful questions, but that didn't make them less pointed. Ran liked Kaito—it was hard not to. This sudden revelation however was… She didn't know what to think really, but it made her a little uneasy. Friendship was one thing, but if this was really what it was starting to sound like…

"Conan-kun…" she said finally, voice distinctly motherly. "He's a little too old for you,"

"That's not—It's not…" He swallowed and looked away, mind buzzing. He should just tell her it wasn't like that. In her shoes, he would probably be pretty concerned too. But he'd already told so many lies—still had to tell so many lies. He didn't want to lie about this too. _This_ was real.

Ran was giving him an even more concerned look than she had been wearing moments ago. He didn't know what he should say to assuage her worries. What _could_ he say? _"Well, actually, Kaito and I've actually known each other for almost ten years now. He's a good person and I trust him with my life. And incidentally, we're technically the same age, except that we're not, but I know he's waiting for me to grow up again so you don't have to look so concerned"_? It sounded stupid even in his own head. So he chose to say nothing and hoped she'd just let it go. If he was lucky, she might be able to come to some different conclusion to satisfy her own thoughts.

Eventually Ran sighed and told him to go do his homework.

Contrary to Shinichi's hopes, the more Ran turned the ideas over in her head the more it seemed to come together. Hadn't she just been thinking that Conan seemed to really like the magician? And the way he turned red and stammered over her questions certainly wasn't normal.

Picking up the cup of tea that had been sitting in front of her throughout the conversation, she looked thoughtfully into its orange brown depths. So Conan had a…a crush? On Kaito.

Who was giving him roses.

What exactly did that mean then? She hadn't known Kaito long, but he did seem like the type to tease. But surely he knew better than to make a joke out of something like this, especially in regards to someone so young.

She would have to talk to him about it.

X

"I'm not going to hurt him."

Ran's hands tightened a little around her teacup. Half of her had been hoping it was all her imagination after all, but Kaito hadn't even batted an eye when she'd laid out her observations and conclusions before him. Instead, that was what he'd said, holding her eyes with his own unwavering gaze.

"But. Kaito-kun, you know he's only fifteen."

Kaito fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Of course I know that." It was a fact he was constantly being reminded of. He was a patient person when he had to be, he could wait. But really, that didn't mean they couldn't establish a relationship. There weren't any laws against people of any age hanging out together. "He'll be eighteen in three years. I can count, Ran-san."

Ran sighed. "I…don't know what to say, Kaito-kun."

"You don't have to say anything. I won't ask you for your approval, not yet, but I meant it when I said I would never do anything to hurt him. You don't have to decide anything right now, and I won't ask you to be happy, but I will ask you to believe that at least."

Searching the depths of those indigo eyes, she found that she did believe it. But she also knew that you didn't have to mean harm to cause it. And emotions were tricky, especially for the young. She knew from experience that even the feelings you used to believe would last forever could change over time, especially between people who didn't really have all that much in common. And what _could_ they have in common?

Well, she didn't know what the future would bring, but she could watch over her charge and be there for whatever came.

X

The day he turned sixteen again, he looked into the mirror and wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. Seeing his own reflection, it really struck him—really sunk in. One mistake and finally now, ten years later, he was back where he'd started. Only he wasn't, because Kudo Shinichi's life had ended with that same mistake ten years ago.

He'd never felt more like a failure.

He'd gone back home that day—the home he hadn't lived in since that time. He'd walked because he didn't want to run ( _refused_ to run), but his steps kept speeding up of their own accord. He left the Mouris a note saying he'd be at Agasa's. Then he'd turned off his phone. He didn't feel like talking to anyone.

When he reached the house he slipped inside and locked the door behind himself. He wandered through the empty rooms and tried to remember the things that had happened there. Funny really. Almost all his memories were of the place just as still and empty as it was now. He wound up in the library where he found the collection of family albums he vaguely remembered should be there. They were a bit dusty but solid and reassuringly heavy.

He spent a few minutes paging through the albums until he couldn't stand it anymore. Then he shut them and retreated to his room. It was exactly how it had been ten years ago. He'd seen to keeping it clean, but with no one living here the place had had no reason to change.

Lying down on the bed, he closed his eyes and let the silence seep into him. If only the silence would take away his thoughts.

He knew that deep down he was just afraid—afraid that everyone was leaving him behind, afraid that he would never fit back into the world he was supposed to be a part of, and afraid that he was going to lose what was left of himself to the lies. Always the lies. Because, horrible as it sounded, the lies had become more _real_ than the truth as far as the rest of the world was concerned. Maybe that meant they _were_ the truth now? He shuddered at the thought.

The problem was that worrying about it wasn't going to change a single thing.

And he'd been doing so well at not thinking about it lately. He should have known better than to think that that meant it wasn't there anymore.

He sensed more than heard the window opening. He didn't bother to look to see who it was. There was only one person it could be anyway. It never crossed his mind to wonder how Kaito would know where to look for him. By now he would have been more surprised if the magician didn't. Part of him—the part currently in charge—really didn't want to see anyone though. Not right now.

"Shinichi?"

He flinched at the sound of his own name but kept his eyes shut and pretended to be sleeping in the vain hope that Kaito would go away. Instead the mattress dipped as someone sat down on the bed beside him.

"I know you're awake."

Sighing, Shinichi relented and opened his eyes to see Kaito looking down at him with obvious concern. It made him feel guilty all over again.

There was a long moment of silence. It was Kaito who broke it"You can cry if you want to, you know."

"I don't want to," he snapped, although he wasn't actually sure which of them he was snapping at.

"What I mean is that you don't have to keep it all to yourself."

Shinichi looked away. "I…would rather not think about it at all."

"That isn't going to make it go away."

"I know that," he said a touch bitterly. "But it's never going to go away is it? So I might as well learn how not to think about it."

"That's called running away," Kaito pointed out, frowning. "It's been ten years Shinichi. Don't you think it's about time you dealt with this and moved on?"

"What is there to deal with? Like you said, nothing's going to change so it doesn't really matter what I think."

"It'll matter to you. And it matters to me."

Shinichi was silent for a long moment before he let out an almost inaudible sigh. "Every time I look into the mirror, I remember the things I did wrong."

"Well, that's your choice, but think about it this way. If things hadn't happened the way they did, we wouldn't be here. The organization might still be out there killing people with no one the wiser. We might never have met. We could have lost. Look me in the eyes and tell me you would have preferred that."

"That isn't fair. It's totally unrelated."

"No, it isn't," Kaito said flatly. "We are who we are now precisely because things happened the way they did. You can't pick and choose only the good bits. History doesn't work that way."

"So I'm supposed to be happy with how things turned out because it could've been worse."

"It would be a good start, certainly," the magician quipped before his expression softened. "I'm not saying you can't grieve for what was lost—you should—but you can't spend the rest of your life agonizing over one mistake. On top of everything else, it just isn't worth it."

"…"

"Well? Am I wrong?"

"No, no, you're right."

"Good. Now get up and get changed. You've already wasted half the day moping. That means we only have half a day left to celebrate your birthday!"

"Do we have to?"

"Yes, because I already made plans. Now are you going to go change or do you want me to do it for you?"

"No—no! I'm going!" Scrambling off the bed, Shinichi spotted the clothes neatly folded on his desk chair that hadn't been there before Kaito had arrived. Figuring that was what he was supposed to wear, he snagged them and made a beeline for the bathroom.

Ten seconds later the whole house shook.

"KAITO!"

Ten minutes later the two were finally on their way. Shinichi was still a little red in the face and Kaito was laughing.

"Hey, you didn't ask me if that was what you were supposed to wear. You just assumed."

"Well what was I _supposed_ to think? You hid the right clothes under the bed! And don't tell me you didn't set it up like that on purpose."

"Well~ I saw it the other day and it just reminded me of you."

" _Why_? You know what, never mind, I don't want to know." Knowing would probably be much worse than not knowing what it was about a sparkly, short, blue dress that made Kaito think about him (although now that he thought about it the thing reminded him a little of some outfits he'd seen some magicians' assistants wear).

Still grumbling under his breath, he moved to put on his shoes. Kaito followed suit, humming a cheery little tune. Straightening, he opened the door for Shinichi. The detective, however, didn't move.

"What's the matter?" Kaito prodded when five whole seconds had passed with still no sign of motion.

Shinichi shifted his weight from foot to foot for a moment longer. Then he stepped forward, tugged on the front of Kaito's shirt until he leaned down, and gave the magician a quick kiss. "Thank you." That said, he hurried out the door.

A soft smile ghosted across Kaito's face before it morphed into a smirk as he chased after his departing companion. "Aw, don't I get a real kiss?"

"I thought you said we had to hurry?"

"True. Later then?"

"…Maybe."

X

Jii passed away in the autumn. It both was and wasn't a shock. It wasn't because the man really had been getting on in years. Yet it was because it was difficult to wrap your mind around the idea of someone who'd always been there not being there anymore. But he'd had a peaceful passing in his sleep, and that, at least, was a blessing.

Shinichi had gone to the funeral because he knew the old man had been like family to Kaito and he wanted to be there for him. It was a little awkward though, being there surrounded by people who had come together to grieve for someone he didn't know.

Afterward they spent some time wandering the city streets. They stopped for a bite to eat at a sandwich shop then at a café for chocolate and coffee.

"I'm going to miss him," Kaito remarked suddenly, eating a marshmallow off the top of his hot chocolate. "He was my assistant, you know. Before he retired, I mean."

"I remember."

"He helped Tou-san when he was working too. He even tried to do the job himself a bit, but then I found the secret room in the house."

They spent the next hour or so wandering through memory lane. They talked about heists and magic and old family moments as the sky outside grew darker. Eventually they ordered omelets from the café's somewhat limited selection of meal offers.

By the time they got up to leave, Shinichi could see that the shadows had cleared from Kaito's face and the spring had returned to his steps. Shinichi smiled to himself, assured that the magician was going to be all right.

X

When his father had died, Kaito had been devastated. As a child he'd always looked up to the older magician. He'd wanted to be just like him.

The grief however had faded gradually over the years. After all, accidents happened. No one was immune to that. But he was going to make his father proud wherever he was by becoming the world's best magician.

When he'd found out that his father had been murdered, it was like the man had died all over again. It _hadn't_ been an accident. It had been intentional. Someone had been at fault—and therefore, someone could have been stopped. That person had taken Kuroba Toichi away from his wife and son and he was _still out there_ running loose like nothing had ever happened.

The thought made his blood boil. The anger had followed him every moment of each day since that discovery. It simmered at the back of his mind even as he played his pranks at school and planned heists, growing that little bit stronger every time he caught his mother looking at his father's portrait with that silent, wistful smile. It wasn't until the murderers were put in jail and justice served that he had finally been able to lay that anger to rest.

The memory of it all however would stay with him for the rest of his life.

Sometimes he wondered if his mother knew the truth. Wondered if he should tell her what had happened and what he'd done. But he always discarded the idea as quickly as it came. If she didn't know, then she was better off for the ignorance. If she did, then there wasn't any point in digging up unpleasant memories.

Still, it bothered him a little to think that one day no one would know the truth. They would remember the world renouned magician Kuroba Toichi and they would remember the legend of the great gentleman thief known as Kaitou KID, but they would never know of the man who had sought after a legend to protect them and given his life in the process.

And now he was the only one left who knew the truth behind the legend. Well, him and Shinichi anyway. Suddenly he was very glad that he had told Shinichi everything after all.

"Have you ever considered writing it down?"

He couldn't help but laugh. "Well~, it would certainly make one hell of a piece of evidence in court."

Shinichi flushed and looked away. "I didn't say you had to write it like a journal. You're the one who's always writing riddles."

Kaito blinked. "So you mean like a treasure map."

"Something like that."

The magician hummed thoughtfully, turning the idea over in his head before a slow grin spread across his face. "You know what, I think I'll try that. I can include a note and everything. One last challenge from the great Kaitou KID—when the time is right, of course."

"When the statute of limitations runs out on whatever you decide is your last theft, you mean."

"That too." Grinning, he leaned over the blueprint covered kitchen table to place a quick kiss on his detective's nose. "My dear Shin-chan, I love the way you think."

"Unfortunately I can't say the same," Shinichi retorted, but his tone was fond.

Kaito let his own expression soften into a smile as he resumed his seat and returned to reviewing his blueprints.

X

It was a very simple ring. It had a small stone on it and a design that had obviously been based off a four leaf clover. Not too flashy, but not exactly inconspicuous either. He hadn't had it yesterday, he was pretty sure about that. He'd only noticed it this morning when he'd been brushing his teeth and saw the glint of gold, and even then it had taken him several moments to realize what he was seeing (he never was very sharp first thing in the morning). Naturally, he'd called the one person who could have put it on him between last night and this morning, even if said man was supposed to be in Italy.

"Good morning Shin-chan!"

"Kai, when did you get back from Italy?"

"What are you talking about? You know I'm not supposed to go home until next week."

"Don't give me that. You're the only person I know who'd give me a ring—"

"I should hope so."

"—and the only one who could sneak into my room in the middle of the night."

"Well actually you sleep like a log," Kaito said cheerfully. "But I see your point. To answer your question, my plane landed this morning at two."

"Why though?" the detective prodded worriedly. "Did something go wrong?"

"No, no, the organizers just didn't manage to get the extension they originally wanted because a different convention needed the venue, but they've already asked me to come back again next year."

"Oh, that's good. I'm—glad you're back. You could have stayed over you know," he added, voice softening.

He could hear the smile in Kaito's voice even if he couldn't see it. "I would have loved to, but I didn't want the first time you saw me again after my trip to be Ran-san trying to kill me when she came to wake you up for school."

"She wouldn't do that. She likes you."

"Perhaps, but it's one of the few chances I'd rather not take."

"So about this ring…?"

"Do you like it?"

Shinichi eyed the clover speculatively. "Tell me it's not another good luck charm."

Kaito laughed. "Of course not. I know you don't like those things."

"All right, just checking."

"You sound rather relieved," Kaito observed, amused. "Has Toyama-chan been giving you more charms again?"

Shinichi grimaced. "Three when she and Hattori visited last week. That makes one hundred and forty four to date."

The thief whistled. "That's quite the collection. You could always sell them off in sets."

He sighed. "I can't. It would hurt her feelings. And she'd just get more. I think she's trying to hit the right combination now or something."

"You can't really blame her for trying. You could certainly use the help."

"Gee, thanks."

"You're welcome."

"So…is there some occasion I'm forgetting?" Shinichi asked a bit hesitantly. He didn't think so, but he was often wrong about these things. "I mean, it doesn't really look like a souvenir."

"Well~, just think about it as an early Christmas present for you and me. It's for you to remind you of me and for me so I'll always know where you are."

Shinichi's jaw dropped. "It's a _tracer_?"

When Kaito answered, his tone had lost any traces of frivolity. "Partially, yes. Now promise me you'll keep it with you."

He sighed, leaning back against his bedroom wall. "This is about last month, isn't it?"

It was Kaito's turn to sigh. The sound made Shinichi feel guilty all over again even though he knew it hadn't exactly been his fault. A month ago the Shounan Tantei had been helping the police with an arson case. Mitsuhiko and Ayumi had taken it upon themselves to tail one of the suspects and Shinichi had gone after them when they hadn't come back. Long story short, they, along with the arsonists, had wound up trapped in the basement of a burning building. They'd lucked out and the flames had been put out by the fire department before it could reach their hiding place. As it was no one had been seriously hurt and as far as Shinichi had been concerned everything had turned out fairly well. Kaito hadn't agreed. He'd said something about dumb luck not being good enough.

_"Let me protect you, Tantei-kun."_

"Kaito—" he started, but the magician cut in before he could say any more.

"I won't lose you, Shinichi. I can't stop you from running around after homicidal maniacs but I can keep an eye on you. And unlike your glasses, it can't just fall off. Now promise."

"I…all right, I promise to keep it with me," Shinichi conceded. Though he silently promised himself that he would try his best not to make it necessary. After all, he knew too well what it was like to be afraid for someone you cared about. "I have to go now or I'm going to be late."

"I'll pick you up after school."

"Okay."

He didn't think much more about the ring until Haibara gave him this odd little smile that always gave him the creeps.

"I didn't realized you'd gotten engaged," she'd said, the corners of her lips curling up in a sly smile.

Shinichi stared blankly at her. "…What?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Or did you just suddenly develop a liking for rings?"

He followed her gaze to where his hands were resting on the textbook he'd been reading. That was when he really noticed which finger the thief had placed the ring on. It could have been a coincidence of course, but who was he kidding? This was Kaito they were talking about. It had to be intentional. It took him all day to get rid of the blush.

X

On the day he finally turned eighteen, Kaito scheduled one of his largest and most mystifying shows. It was held outdoors and free for everyone to watch. Shinichi, however, had a special seat up on a balcony above the crowds where he had an unparalleled view without having to deal with the crowds he'd come to detest. The balcony was attached to a restaurant they'd discovered a few months ago.

He'd grown to love Kaito's shows. They were always amazing, and the magician himself always looked so alive when he was performing. He loved what he did, and it showed in his work and the awe of his audience.

Kaito was the only magician he'd ever met who could actually, for even a moment, make him believe in magic.

Sometimes he wondered if he should tell Kaito that. But Kaito's ego really didn't need feeding. Besides, he had the feeling that the magician already knew.

The show ended in a swirl of blue smoke and a rain of origami stars in every color imaginable. Cheers filled the night air as the crowds slowly began to disperse in a haze of laughter and lingering wonder. Then a pair of strong arms were sliding around Shinichi from behind and a familiar voice whispered low in his ear.

"Did you enjoy the show?"

A pleasant shiver ran down his spine and he smiled, turning his head to meet Kaito's indigo gaze. "I did."

The brilliant smile that the magician gave him warmed him just as much as his embrace. Kaito closed what little space was left between them and they shared a comfortable kiss before he straightened and moved to sit on the other side of the table. Shinichi shivered a little, already missing the warmth of the other's arms around him. If he hadn't really known for certain when all this had started if he loved Kaito or not, he no longer had any doubts. He couldn't imagine life without him anymore. It was a little frightening sometimes, since he more than anyone knew just how fragile lives and circumstances could be.

Kaito snapped his fingers and several candles that Shinichi was absolutely positive had not been there moments before abruptly burst into light. Their flickering flames cast a soft, golden haze over the table which now bore a spread of large and small plates. They were empty, their polished surfaces reflecting the candlelight.

"Haven't you done enough magic for one evening?" Shinichi asked, though he already knew the answer.

"There's no such thing as enough magic," Kaito laughed. Especially not when he had his favorite audience. Raising both hands for dramatic effect, he made an opening gesture. There was a flash of light and now all the plates were full. The cooks must have been in on Kaito's plans, since all the food looked fresh off the stove. Shinichi resisted the urge to begin examing the table and balcony to see how Kaito had made the food appear.

For tonight, he wanted to believe in magic.

Kaito watched his detective closely from the other side of the table as they talked about anything and everything that came to mind. The hint of uncertainty that had lingered for years in Shinichi's eyes had disappeared. Now they were clear and bright as Kaito had always thought they should be. And there was nothing but warmth in them when those eyes looked at him. Warmth and trust. And the knowledge that Shinichi really, truly trusted and cared for him for everything that he was gave him a sense of peace he hadn't had in years.

"Come on," he said, getting up and offering Shinichi his hand. "There's one more thing I want to show you before we go home."

The detective didn't hesitate at all in accepting his proffered hand.

Shinichi wasn't particularly surprised when they wound up on the rooftop where their meetings had begun. He wasn't really surprised by the fireworks either. Kaito had a particular fondness for making them and he made it a point to put on his own displays whenever the chance arose. What did surprise him was the sheer expansiveness of the show. The entire sky over Tokyo was literally aglow with showers of colored sparks liked fractured rainbows blossoming against the dark sky. And tonight they all looked like roses. Large ones and small ones bloomed in shifting colors until their petals outnumbered the stars.

Like all the roses he'd ever received from the magician memorialized in lights, Shinichi thought with mild amusement, tilting his head back as he watched the pattern of lights. Kaito stepped up beside him, placing his left hand over Shinichi's right where it rested on the rooftop railing. The detective turned his hand over to twine their fingers together. They turned to face each other, the fireworks casting multicolored veils across their faces.

"Happy birthday, Shin-chan."

Shinichi smiled, feeling oddly like he was standing in a dream. "Thank you."

"I love you."

Shinichi blushed faintly, but it wasn't so much embarrassment as it was happiness. "I love you too."

Another series of explosions temporarily drowned out all other sounds. Tightening his grip, Kaito tugged hard on their joined hands, pulling Shinichi flush against him.

"Forever," he whispered, warm breath ghosting past Shinichi's ear and making the detective shiver. The fierce conviction in his voice made the detective's heart race. He had stopped believing in things like forever a long time ago, but when Kaito said it… When Kaito said it, he couldn't help but believe.

X

"I thought we were going to my place," Shinichi commented, looking up in surprise at Kaito's apartment building as the car pulled to a stop.

"Mine was closer," the thief replied with a grin. "It's also less dusty. And we're less likely to be bothered."

That was certainly true, Shinichi mused as he got out of the car. The only person who would look for him here was Ran. By now there were a handful of others like his parents who knew about Kaito, but none of them knew where he lived. Truth be told, Shinichi had the feeling that not a lot of people did. Kaito had gone out of his way to make himself difficult to find for anyone who didn't want to use the avenues he'd set up himself. It seemed the habit of secrecy was hard to break. He certainly knew how that felt. But it didn't bother him anymore—not the way it used to (and he hoped Kaito felt the same).

An arm slid around his waist. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"I was just thinking that secrets don't seem to weigh as much when you share them with someone."

"Perhaps," the magician agreed thoughtfully. "But that's because they aren't really secrets anymore, no?"

"Only in a manner of speaking."

"True. But I think that's enough, don't you?"

"I do now…"

Kaito smiled fondly at the detective in his arms who seemed to have wandered down yet another of his streams of thought. Deciding it was about time to get out of the parking lot, he bent quickly, hooked one arm behind Shinichi's knees as the other shifted up his back and picked him up.

Shinichi let out a surprised squeak and wrapped his arms instinctively around the magician's neck. "Can't you warn me before you do that?"

"But that wouldn't be as fun~."

Shinichi paused then snorted, shaking his head. A faint smile made its way onto his face as he leaned his head against Kaito's shoulder.

X

Kaito's apartment occupied the entirety of his building's top floor. It had once been more than one apartment, but he needed space to do his work not to mention store his tools. So he'd acquired the other apartments once he'd started getting a name for himself and knocked down a few walls, remodeled here and there, etc. Now it served not only as his home and a studio but there was a section inaccessible to those who didn't know exactly what to do where a certain thief made most of his plans.

This high above the city streets, the night was almost entirely silent. It made it oh so easy to believe that they were in a world of their own, Shinichi thought. Perhaps they really were.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted this," Kaito growled into his ear, sending shudders of nervous excitement down the detective's spine. He was, however, somewhat inclined to disagree, because really he'd been waiting too, but he was cut off before he could say anything by a burning kiss that left him breathless. Well, it wasn't really important anyway.

He looked up into burning, indigo eyes. The predatory look in them made his heart race. It was bizarre because he'd seen something a little like that look before directed at jewels the thief particularly wanted, but to have it directed at him gave it whole new dimensions. Although right now he didn't really have the thoughts left over to analyze them. He couldn't think beyond the sensation but he didn't care. If he was dreaming, he didn't want to wake up.

Kaito caught his lips in another, deeper kiss. Shinichi couldn't stop the quiet moan that escaped him and he didn't try. Instead he slipped his arms around the taller man's neck and pulled him closer.

The magician grinned at that. He couldn't help it. To have Shinichi here now, sprawled out under him and asking for his touch… He'd dreamed about this for years.

It hadn't been easy to wait for his detective to grow up again (especially the last few years, with Shinichi melting so willingly in his arms every time they kissed). There were times when he wanted nothing more than to pin Shinichi to the nearest wall and ravish him. To claim what was his once and for all.

Sometimes he wanted to write it across the sky. Shinichi was his and this thief was not giving him back to anyone!

But there were the legal issues (there were some things no one needed a reputation in) and the fact that he didn't particularly want to be hunted down by Mouri Ran and her karate fluent fists which he had no doubt she would try if she so much as suspected he had done anything she would disapprove of. He wasn't going to give anyone a chance at a reason to say they couldn't be together. In the end though it wasn't as simple as a matter of legalities. Their lives were and probably always would be a complex dance of the things that were real, the things that were made, and the things that could not be ignored.

Besides, anything worth having was worth waiting for. And he wanted Shinichi to know that he was worth waiting for. Wanted him to know that he was entirely serious when he promised him forever.

X

The incessant ringing of a phone dragged Shinichi out of the warm, comfortable haze of sleep he had been drifting in. He wrinkled his nose, trying desperately to hang on to those fluffy tendrils, but it was no use. The ringing paused for a brief moment then started right back up again. He groaned in annoyance.

The arm around his middle tightened followed by Kaito's irritated tones. "Should I get rid of it?"

As if on cue, the phone paused and began a third round of shrilling.

"No," Shinichi sighed. "It might be important."

"It had better be," the magician growled but he unwound the arm he had around Shinichi and reach over him to the nightstand. It took him a moment to locate the correct phone.

Shinichi couldn't help but feel a touch disappointed at the loss of the embrace. Sighing, he stretched and pulled the blankets closer. He was sore in places that made him blush but happier than he could remember being in a long time.

"You might want to answer this one Shin-chan. It's from Ran-san."

Shinichi let out a slightly miffed noise before reaching out blindly in the direction of the ringing. A hand pressed the phone into his questing hand and he answered it.

"Ran-neechan?"

She was silent for so long that he was beginning to wonder if something had gone wrong with the line when she finally spoke. "When are you coming home?"

He blinked, taken aback. He'd been expecting something more along the lines of 'where are you'. "Um, I'm not sure. Do you need me for anything?"

"Everyone's coming over this afternoon and we're going to the park—the big one near the university—for a late picnic and barbeque. It starts at three. Make sure you're there okay?"

"Okay. Do I need to bring anything?"

"No, no," she laughed. "I've already arranged everything. It's just everyone's going to be there. I wanted to make sure you don't miss it. Even Hattori-kun and Kazuha will be there. So don't forget!"

"All right, all right, I won't forget. Three at the park. Is there anything else?"

"Nope, that's it. See you later then."

And that was it. Pulling the phone away from his ear, he stared at it for another long moment before setting it back on the nightstand.

"Problem?"

Shinichi shook his head, absently snuggling closer to the magician. "It's just I'm surprised she didn't ask me where I am."

For some reason this made Kaito laugh. "That would be because I talked to her the day before yesterday. She wanted to throw you a party for your birthday, but I convinced her to move it to today."

"And…she was okay with that?"

"Well, she did give me this really pointed look, but she didn't say anything."

"I guess that's good then," Shinichi mused, more relieved than he cared to admit. "Will you be coming with me to the picnic then?"

"You have to ask?"

It was Shinichi's turn to laugh. And it seemed to him as he looked towards the window that the sun had never looked so bright.

X

He started working part time with the police once he started university. The Shounan Tantei still took cases, but with classes and college life to deal with it had been decided that the team would only meet once every few weeks. The plan was to start a real detective agency once they'd all graduated. Shinichi wasn't sure if that plan would actually pull through in the end, but part of him kind of hoped it would (even if he didn't dare hope too hard).

He'd moved in with Kaito after spending a year in the dorms. The magician's apartment was much closer to the university than the Mouri Detective Agency or his own old house, providing a convenient explanation to give Kogoro and the others. Those like Ran, his parents, and Haibara knew the real reason behind the move, some more so than others, but most of them had been expecting as much.

The day before the move they had paid a visit to Kaito's mother and told her the whole story—both of them. It was something Kaito had been thinking about for a while. More and more he'd come to feel that maybe it was time to bring out the truth.

"To be honest, I always had the impression that she knew more than she was letting on," he'd admitted as they made their way up to the front door. "I guess now's as good a time as any to find out how much."

It turned out he'd been right. She'd known or suspected quite a lot of what had been going on in her son's life. The two had talked long into the night about the past—the truths and the lies and the reasons. Shinichi retreated to Kaito's old room some time during the conversation, not wanting to intrude on the Kurobas' private, family moment. Because of that, he missed when the conversation turned from the past to the future.

"I take it this poison you two mentioned was why you didn't introduce me to Conan-kun until now."

Kaito scratched at the back of his head, a sheepish grin plastered across his face. "Yeah, well…. I didn't want to give you a heart attack or anything."

"After living with your father and you, I don't think anything could shock me anymore." Chikage laughed quietly, shaking her head. "I hope you've told his parents."

"We did," he assured her.

"Good. Next time they're in the country, we should all have dinner. I haven't seen Yukiko in years."

"Will do."

"I…don't suppose this means you're going to stop? The stealing, I mean."

He hesitated a moment before answering. "I can't. Not yet…"

She studied his face for a long moment before letting out a quiet sigh. "I understand. Just—be careful."

"I know, and I will."

"It's getting late."

Kaito nodded, getting to his feet. "I hope you don't mind if we spend the night."

"Of course not." Laughing lightly, Chikage rose and stepped up to her son, pulling him into a warm embrace. "I'm proud of you," she whispered. "And I know Toichi is too. Remember that."

The magician returned the hug, his throat feeling abnormally tight. "I will."

He found Shinichi curled up on top of the covers of his old bed already fast asleep. Smiling faintly, he carefully shifted the detective under the blankets before slipping in beside him. Gathering Shinichi closer to him, he tucked the boy's head under his chin and closed his eyes.

It was funny, he thought to himself, that he had stolen some of the world's most valuable jewels, but he could honestly say that not one of them was as precious to him as the person he held now or the woman in the next room. The most precious things couldn't be labeled with a price.

X

There was no such thing as perfect, that much Shinichi knew, but these days he was beginning to think that you could come pretty close. It was all about perspective.

Of course the secrets were still there, but it was something he'd come to accept. That wasn't to say that it didn't still bother him on occasion, but the fact that he was content with life the way it had turned out went a long way in countering those bouts of depression.

Again, it came down to how he chose to look at things.

Even if he could change the past now, he knew he wouldn't. Kaito had been right. He didn't know what might have happened, but he did know that they were all here now and that was what was important.

He had finally found somewhere that he really felt like he belonged.

There were a few minor drawbacks though. For instance, there was the fact that Hakuba had been the officer assigned to be his partner and 'mentor'—to show him the ropes and whatnot (like he needed _that_ , but procedures were procedures). He had never particularly disliked the blonde. In fact, he'd found he quite liked talking to Hakuba about books in general and Sherlock Holmes in particular. But he quickly discovered that the man could often be every bit the nuisance Kaito always called him. It all started when Hakuba found out that Shinichi—or rather Conan—was living with Kuroba Kaito. He'd started by asking Shinichi a lot of (not so) subtle questions. He'd gone on to inform the younger detective of his suspicions regarding Kuroba and KID. Nowadays Shinichi had the feeling the blonde was beginning to wonder if he was assisting Kaito in his night job.

Peering around the corner to make sure the coast was clear, Shinichi sprinted into the apartment building and made a beeline for the elevator. He relaxed only after he stepped out onto the top floor landing and slipped inside the apartment. He locked it hurriedly behind him.

"You look like a rabbit that's just been run to ground," Kaito's amused voice observed from where he was watching the news, a spread of stage diagrams covering the coffee table before him. "Problem?"

"Hakuba-san was fishing for information again," he grumbled, going to pour himself a large mug of coffee. Full mug in hand, he wandered over and sat down on the magician's lap.

Kaito wrapped his arms around the smaller form, a pleased grin flashing across his face. The news faded into the background as he focused his attention on the disgruntled detective in his arms. His Shin-chan was adorable when he was sulking, he mused, but he knew better than to say that out loud.

"I'd love to be able to tell you that he'll give up eventually, but unfortunately I can't. I think it's become a matter of pride for him since this is one matter on which Aoko's always believed me over him."

"If he wants proof that badly, he should be hounding you, not me."

"He's tried that already," Kaito pointed out, burying his nose in Shinichi's hair. "Let's forget about nosy bastards for now. I just got an invitation to the grand opening of a new theme park in Hokkaido. I can bring guests. Do you want to come with me?"

"When is it?"

"Next week. We'll leave this Sunday and come back the following Saturday."

Shinichi didn't really have to think much about it. "All right." Frankly, it sounded like heaven right about now.

Although he had to admit he would be just as happy to stay right where he was now instead, safe in the arms of the one he loved.


End file.
